Thursday, November 21, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Take a Look in the Mirror First!! Some wonderful things to consider before entering into a relationship!!
- Have you been on your own? (Are you paying for your own housing, food, personal items, car, phone, insurance, etc? Are you responsible for your own personal decisions, schedule, life course plan?)
- Are you out of debt or do you have a plan you have implemented to reduce your debt and pay off loans in a consistent manner?
- Do you have a strong plan and direction for your life?
- Do you have a job and career and seen any measure of success in this, or have you a clear path to college or grad school graduation?
- Do you have a dependable, authentic group of friends whom you can confide in and you trust their opinions and counsel?
- Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents, grandparents and extended family—or have you sought to have one from your side of the relationship?
- Have you dealt with your own family of origin issues (either of your parents have addictions, abandon you, abuse you, etc?) Have you pursued counsel or mentoring to overcome those hurts?
- Have you acknowledged and forgiven any hurts from past relationships?
- Have you dealt with any of your own demons (drugs, drinking, and pornography, sexual promiscuity, gambling or shopping addictions)?
- Have you finished and closed the doors on all past relationships? (you are not seeing a person from your past or carrying romantic feelings for him or her.)
- Have you completed all details of past relationships? (Is the divorce FINAL (not just separated; if children are involved has a custody settlement been agreed upon? Have you divided property? )
- If you were in a serious dating relationship, or previous engagement or marriage, have you given yourself time to regroup and readjust to life lived as a solo person? (One healthy time gauge would be one month off ALL dating relationships for each year you were with a person as a MINIMUM. For example: If you dated 2 years, were engaged a year then broke it off, you should not even go on any kind of a date for at least three months. Most people require double this (so six months breathing room). If you lived with someone or a marriage ended, you should double this again. So if you dated two years, engaged one and married for three, at minimum give yourself a year or even two to recover or regroup. )
- If you have children, are they at a place they can handle change or a new person entering your life? (Kids are NOT as resilient as you would want them to be. It is wise to consult a professional licensed counselor who specializes in children before exposing your children to romantic relationships. Use the wisdom of those who have a proven track record of helping children and families to add to your own wisdom in order to due your due diligence before making life altering decisions. )
- Do you have a personal growing relationship with God in a way you can sense when God is leading and guiding your life?
A smart person will seek out the best mentors in life—and in love.